Hope

Hello! How are you? I hope you're well :)

Over the last couple of months my GP, my new cardiologist and I have been investigating have been investigating if I might have POTS. After 11 years with ME/CFS the possibility of a new diagnosis has made me feel a huge range of different emotions. 

Fear. Scared of change. 

Guilt. I could have investigated POTS 2 years ago when I first heard of it. 

Euphoric hope. There might be something wrong with me that is more fixable. There might be something I can do to lessen my symptoms. 

Fear again. What if I don't have POTS and I'm back to square one again, without a clue how to make myself better. 

Let's talk about why I'm so scared first. The fear of change isn't my most prominent emotion, but it's certainly worth a mention. I think because I've had ME for nearly half my life the potential POTS diagnosis I scary because it would change the way I think about my symptoms, the way cope with them emotionally, and the way I mange and react to them. It would be a big mindset shift and I'm comfortable where I am now!

I do feel guilty that I didn't look into POTS when I first heard of it. Maybe I could have made some life changes a long time ago that would mean I'd be feeling so much better now! What if... Regretting I didn't investigate this 2 years ago is not a helpful train of thought, so let's focus on the happy. 

Hope. What if this means I can control some of my symptoms? Maybe I'll be able to do some constructive things to make myself better! Maybe I'll be able to start doing some of the things I love again. This is brilliant!

Having POTS would mean that the main reason I get so tired is when I'm standing up, my blood vessels aren't very good at fighting gravity and my blood pools in my feet. My heart rate races to compensate and get the blood back to my brain. It would explain symptoms of fatigue, headaches, dizziness amongst many others. 

Just by being aware that it's standing that tires me, just as much as physical activity, I will be able to get back some control. 

There's no known cure for POTS, though people can get better, but most importantly to me, there are more management tips than there are for ME/CFS. It honestly makes me so excited. 

I haven't been diagnosed yet of course. You can follow my Potential POTS Journey on my brand new YouTube channel. Yes I finally took the plunge to do something I'd been wanting to do for years but I was too scared. But maybe I can talk about that in another blog post. 

POTS is estimated to affect around one third of people with ME/CFS. You can easily check if POTS is something that might be worth finding out about for you by downloading a heart rate app. Take your pulse when you are sat calmly. It should be around 60-80. Then stand up, stand still and take your pulse again, if it increases by 30+ bpm (or 25 if you're a young person) you might well have POTS. 

More information about POTS can be found here:
POTS UK: http://www.potsuk.org/
POTS Leaflet: http://www.patient.co.uk/health/postural-tachycardia-syndrome-pots-leaflet

Wish me luck and I hope you are having a brilliant day!

Monday positivity: Putting on your happy face (and mind)

Hello!

Sorry I've had a 2 week break. Here's a quick one from me today to get me back into the swing of things. Later this week I think I might even post something that isn't about positivity!

Recently, I came across this quote (strangely it was in a quiz book)

Often it's difficult to just "lay aside" our troubles and negative thoughts. It can't be done in an instant. But I think, if you make this quote your mantra for this week, you can gradually let go of the unhelpful unnecessarily unhappy thoughts and move towards a more positive mindset. 

Think of it as little choices you make every day. Every time you catch yourself thinking along a path you don't want to be going down, notice it and then choose to think differently. 

For example, if you notice you are stressed about your to-do list and you know it is getting you down, try to stop and think about it differently. Employ your "cheerful disposition" and congratulate yourself for ticking the first thing off! Then, get on with the next thing with a more calm, happier frame of mind. 

I hope you are having a brilliant day. 

Monday Positivity: Seize the day - Seize the year

A good morning to you! Today is the first Monday of 2015 so let's start as we mean to go on (however unreasonable our intentions may be, it's still good to err on the side of optimism!)

Today I want to encourage you to seize the day. Have a good stab at that never ending to do list, get your exercise in, eat well, drink lots of water. Do it all with a light spirit and a smile on your face. Why? Because you can. Today is a clean slate, it is what you make of it. So let's make it a good one! 

Let's be enthusiastic. If you made your New Years resolutions in good faith, embrace that feeling today. You can feel hopeful and determined. Don't beat yourself up if things don't go the way you hoped. Pick yourself up try again without complaining. Enjoy the everyday motions that you go through. Be excited. Spark your enthusiasm for life in any way you can. 

Today I want to write 2 emails and a letter, appreciate nature and tell people I love them. What are you going to do today?

Whatever it is, I hope you are having a brilliant day 

Monday Positivity: This is My Year & My New Year Resolutions

Good morning! I hope you had a lovely Christmas

Yesterday I watched the Shaytards Christmas Special 2014. At the end there's a link to @HiimRawn's music video on @shaycarl's channel. The song is motivational, all about how 2015 is going to "be my year".

I've listened to the song a few times and it's going on my ipod today. I'm hoping it will remind me throughout 2015 to keep going with my goals and resolutions, even when times are bad. Living with a chronic illness, I always keep in mind that the best laid plans can still go awry, but if I lay down nothing at all to aim for, then I won't ever have the motivation get anything done.

Here are a few of my goals for 2015:

1) Keep up my Monday Positivity posts on this blog. I've really enjoyed putting these together and the self imposed deadline seems to be working; I've managed to post every Monday for the last three weeks, so I should manage for the next 52 right? I also want to add in extra posts on life and projects on other days

2) Start my business. I have been planning on setting up a website selling my jewellery for about 18 months. Why haven't I done it yet? Well, aside from the health set backs I don't really have an excuse. I think I need to try some more specific goal setting over the next few weeks to get the gears in motion. Maybe I'll write a post about that when I have it figured out

3) Start my YouTube channel. I have a few vlogs I decided never to upload and notebooks brimming with ideas for videos but I am yet gain that final bit of courage to commit and upload something. Maybe I'll get there soon, maybe I'll try again in a couple of months

Apart from these three big goals I have a couple that are more generalised:

4) Keep in contact with my friends. ME/CFS can be isolating, but this year I'm going to try even harder to stay in contact with friends and family

5) Make more use of my sewing machine. I was lucky enough to be given a sewing machine for Christmas last year, but I've hardly used it! I do have a few projects in mind for the new year though

So I've a few things to think about heading into January. Have you made any new year's resolutions? Is there anything you've been putting off for ages that you're going to go for this year?

I hope you are having a brilliant day

Positivity Monday: Silver Linings

Hello and happy Monday morning to you. I hope you are well. 

Today I want to talk about the figure of speech "every cloud has a silver lining"

Focussing on a silver lining has really helped me when I have been feeling down. Say the bad situation you are in is a big black cloud. There will be something about it that you can latch onto as a silver lining. The small good thing might be completely insignificant and over shadowed by that bad thing but it's still helpful to focus on the one small thing about it that you can be glad about. 

I took this picture a few days ago. I think the hundreds of water droplets on the tree look like silver linings.

Last week I was too ill to go and see War of the Worlds with Carrie Hope Fletcher performing. I'd been looking forward to seeing it for several months and I was very excited about it. I was devastated when I realised I just wasn't well enough to make the trip to London. BUT instead I was able to have a nice cosy evening in with my fiancé. 

Now I would have much preferred to be withy the rest of my family enjoying the concert, but instead of dwelling on it, I chose to focus my energies on enjoying my evening with Henry. There were a few tears over the weekend but focusing on the good things helped me to not get lost in the negativity. 

Focussing on the small, relatively insignificant silver lining helped me get through what otherwise would have been a pretty miserable weekend. 

What small thing made you happy recently?

I hope you are having a brilliant day

Monday Positivity: Trust in your beliefs

Good morning! 

I am trying something new: I'm aiming write a little blog post about positivity every Monday! I hope to bring a little happiness to your day. So, here goes. . .

At this time of year my family tend to talk about religion a little bit more. In one conversation recently we talked about the comfort having a faith brings to people who have it. We were talking about a religious faith, but I think the same feeling could be applied to whether you believe in God or not.

Maybe you believe in destiny and fate, the power of good conquering evil, karma, happy endings, love, strength of family, loyalty of friends or you might believe in God. Whatever you believe in - I believe in a few of these - you can put your trust and faith into your belief, to comfort you when you need it.

Try this: write down what you believe in. What is it that anchors your faith in these beliefs? When you are having a bad day, you can come back to what you really hand-on-heart trust and believe, in the hope that whatever is getting you down on that day pales into insignificance. Maybe looking at your list or your one word will bring you a little peace or happiness.

What words would make you happy on a rainy day?

I hope you are having a brilliant day